LIVE.LOVE.LEARN.LOSE

this was typed wit an on screen keyboard

today, is the most pathetic day of my life.

at first it started out fine. studied in skul.

then wel, xx and yy show up. 2 complicate matters, zz is here checkin the classes. wel i survived an entire conv wit them so it wasn dat bad. but stil, wen ur faced wit 2 ppl u don wana see, u just gotta take a deep breath, and stick ur hand into the shit bowl.

and thats exactly wat i did.

wats a girl gonna do wen her phone falls into the toilet bowl? and btw, its a long way in.. so i pulled my pants up and got sher. bloody didn even get to pee before the beautiful bastard of a phone decided that it wud go for a swim. thank goodness i wasn alone.

we tried to get oven tongs, not available.
broom, na..
then light bulb turned on! ting!
charcoal tongs!! (thanks shea shin.. )
and garbage bags for make-shift gloves.

*warning*
shit up ahead.
readers, pls make sure you havn got anythin to puke. if otherwise, discontinue reading.

i swore my whole way thru, stickin my plastic-bagged arm into the long dark hole, wit only a pair of charcoal tongs. wat does it feel lyk, you ask? bloody disgusting. imagine, only a piece of plastic seperating ur hand and lots of crap. everybody discharges waste, spits, farts and pukes there. bacteria heaven. and i, have to shove my hand in. syok! once in a lifetime experience. but too bad, all that trouble but my arms were too short. wel, we tried thinkn of other ways including : glue, net, magnet(??)

still, lotsa thanks to wyn yao, jo yee and sher, who all helped ;) finally flushed it down the toilet to a watery grave. talk abt a shitty high skul memory.. i don think i'll ever look at hand phones and toilets in the same way again.

needless to say, got a scolding from my parents. high pitched screaming in the bathroom helps to let of some steam.. esp after wat u think has been a bad day.

and now, my keyboard isn workin..

ps: before all tht crap, we were talking abt phones, and sher said sony ericsson very easily spoilt. and i was lyk, don curse my phone.. and ta da!! phone fell in toilet bowl.!.!

its a few days after graduation

and the reality still hasn sunk in. the ghost of me is still stuck in the good days of form 4, busy eating nasi and goofing around in amcorp.

oh the memories..

and to think, that i didn cry. i wish i wish i wish i did. it seems so much more memorable and meaningful to cry, to mark the passing of a major stage in life, with a few drops of salty water.

going through this, made me think about all the friends i have or had. mostly about the friends i had. knowing myself, i've never been one to make a conscious effort to keep a friendship. i think maybe cos i'm a 'now' person. but the past will catch up on you. and thats how the world is. i admit, i'm a terrible friend. so therefore i wil receive my punishment.

it is probably my biggest failing. yes, maybe the reason why i don't make great friends with many ppl, is bcos when they leave my life, i know it will hurt. so not getting too close, is a barrier to stop heartbreak. selfish, yes. heartless, no i hope not.

as you read this, and if you were/are a friend of mine, this is what i am. i, realize that i have failed many people. i shall work on it. as i promise nothing, so shall i receive nothing. thank you to you all, who view me as a human being, who have led me to believe that i'm worth something, although that something might well be a piece of shit.

so as i grow old, and stand watching autumn leaves fall, i think that i will be alone. i will look over a lake and sigh, knowing that the loneliness, was my own doing. looking at faded pictures, playing old songs, that will be me. and i will cry, alone.

(don't bother me, this depressing thought will fade)