i lost.

very simple actually, the world runs on money and looks. both which i am sorely lacking. therefore i shall trust in the Lrd for all things.
actually i should blame myself for not listening to God. You see, WTF as a campaign ain't God's way. i shudn have thought tht swear words would gain votes.i shud have been more Christian-like. Failed miserably.. all those shud-have-dones. (sorry im not being very coherent)

but a good thing today is that God answered my prayer!! and just in the nick of time...
yesterday i was worried cos i cudn find my wallet. and one missing library book. i badly needed those 2 things cos the library bk was due today, and my wallet has my driving card inside, which i need for today's lesson. so, i prayed and asked God to help me find them. it felt better when i read the Bible and the verse i read was "hold on to your unwavering faith" Funny, but i felt very certain tht God would jus deliver those 2 specific items tomoro, in time for me to use them. lyk "plop!!" into my hands.

and well, He did!!
so the whole thing goes in this order:
3pm: bro finds wallet
3.40pm: on the way home, i call bro to look for library book. bro tells me he found my wallet.
3.42pm: back from college, bro can't find book
3.43pm: mum says it might be in bro's room. i check it out. not there.
3.44pm: bro says might be in parents room. i check it out. ITS THERE!!
3.45pm: jump into car to rush off to lesson and send bro to tuition

XP

yes that was my day. how was yours?

ALL A LEVELS TAYLORIANS!!

VOTE NICOLE FOR PrOM HEAD!!

LOOK OUT FOR ME IN MY "POM HEAD"
FREE (PAPER) SHIRTS FOR ALL!!

MY CAMPAIGN SLOGAN IS
Whats The Fuss ?!

LOTSA LOVE,
NICOLE =)

i made it! i made it!
i got selected to campaign for STUDENT COUNCIL PROM HEAD!!
VOTE ME TAYLORIANS!!
*grins madly like an invisible plate is stuck in my mouth*

its jus that i thought i wasn't quite gonna make it among all those talented people. i guess no one was dumb enough to go for a post which has so much work, but with a less glamourous title. whee!

now, the hard part, i jus have to get people to vote for me..

and I've just got a letter saying I've been selected for BRATS camp!! will be skipping college for 3 days to go on a journalistic programme. whee!! XP

yes, so valentine's started out with lots of flowers, chocolates and soft toys..
but none for me.
ok i did actually get a card(thanks hon lum) and cookies(you're too nice, ee keen zai). its reli so commercialized that i was kicking myself for not being more enterprising.

but the fun starts only after the sun has set.

Jo and eu planned a singles night out, so the both of them, honlum. cheekin and i went to MV to have dinner and jus savour being single. Jo was so nice, she gave us all red paper hearts(but i lost mine =( Dinner was Mdm Kwan's and then we lounged at La Manila for coffee and to jus chill.

the 5 of us linked arms and stared down all those lovey-dovey couples.
the 5 of us exchanged valentine cards, each with a message from everyone else.
the 5 of us toasted to valentines and hopefully, our wishes'll come true
the 5 of us forgot to hug each other
the 5 of us made a pact to do a 'Valentine blind date' next yr

the question still remains: who will be my Valentine?

ah.. those last posts made me go, "what a load of bullcrap!!" i jus realised maybe they were jus somethin to pass the time by. thinking nonsense lets you even out the usual common sense. its like a wave: go up, come down. so the last few posts were a down. and now i'm ready for an up!!

CNY:
hypothesis: as you grow older, you get less ang pow.
observation: less ang pow this year
conclusion: more people died

it is true! when we had to go visiting, it usually took at least...5 hrs visiting all the relatives. now? we only need to visit 4 houses, and 1 open house. and then back to hometown. and the ang pow gets less and less. not that i'm complaining, mind. besides i won 4 bucks! XP courtesy of 'chor dai di'

one thing i reli enjoy is jus the amount of FOOD! (and fat) eat first, worry ltr. my aunt and grandma are reli good cooks so there is endless supply of good food. this yr jus made me realise, how old i actually am. my cousins are all finishing their studies or working. they're all in their 20s. no longer teenagers. and they don play monopoly anymore. they go clubbing sometimes and one jus got his car stolen. that only happens to old people don you think? Adults i mean..

ah well. its a good year ahead. and God will lead my way! Amen.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Once upon a time, long after the feminist revolution dawned and yet before we could spell the word–let alone understand it–we were little girls. We knew we were equals to boys and no one was going to tell us we weren’t going to play kickball at recess with the toughest of them.
But if little Johnny knocked me over and didn’t stop to smile and help me up, well, then I told all of my friends he was a jerk. And this idea of “I’m as good as you so treat me like a princess” found itself a little home in our confused minds and it took over…without an invitation.

As we awkwardly tiptoed into the land of dating, this entire concept, fraudulent as it seems, was still very real. I’ve always been independent, strong, confident, smart (maybe a little full of myself, too), and was taught to believe that no guy could outdo me in ANYthing. So why did my mom tell me to let Eric pay for dinner on my first date? Why did my friends think it was “sweet” that he opened doors for me? How can we truly be equals if chivalry is still a card in this game?
Accepting the traditional nods from men that corner us into the position of being a “lady” directly contradicts so many other expectations that we have for men outside of dating.

And to tell you the truth, I feel sorry for guys these days. Many of my male friends complain to me that they have no idea what a girl wants.

“On one hand, she feels cheap and sexualized when you buy her a drink and on the other, she is insulted if you don’t at least offer.”
Chivalry is dying and we are killing it with our back and forth ideas of what a MAN today should be.

If we are all we crack ourselves up to be–independent, strong, confident, smart, AND capable of getting the same jobs as our male counterparts, then why on earth would we cling to these now foreign concepts of chivalry? It made sense for men to pay the way for their lady friends when ladies didn’t work, but things have changed.
So what’s our excuse?
Is it, in fact, fair for us to keep these romanticized notions as a standard for the men we meet?
Well, yes, you know what? It is.

I want to be his equal and I want to be his princess. But the only way this works is… if he’s my prince.
Men today cannot win me over with their roses nor their fortune. If a man wants to treat me like his damsel in distress, he will not get very far. I do not want to need him. (Nor do I need to). I simply need to want him. However, if we can both give and if we can both take and if we can both share, then f*ck it, lets ride off into the sunset together.


by Elizabeth

did i ever mention tht i'm gonna let God pick my guy? no?
well, its lyk this. since God's the only one who knows me inside out, i suppose He'd know btr which guy to pick right? yup, i'm not gonna make the same mistake twice. i'm no desperado here.. jus wanna place the decision in God's hands. who knows, mayb in the end, he won be lyk how i thought he wud be.

its kinda funny tho, when ur friends are reli attractive and have love interests, you wonder(or at least i do), when's it gonna be my turn? and i always feel tht no guys will ever be interested in me. and i know exactly why. LOUD, obnoxious, boyish, unladylike. even the way i walk reeks of manliness. such a turn off! gah! i've always been lyk this. and i don think i will ever be graceful, sweet, soft and feminine.
let me tell you, i hated shoppin as a kid. not dislike, HATE. and i had a fondness for creepin ppl out. jus to show tht i was brave. it jus proves tht ugly ducklings, sometimes jus ARE ugly lyk shit. and it doesn help when you think some guys will suit you when actually you really dont know.
but now, i see why girls are lyk tht. cos we're created after God's own image. ah peer pressure.. how we all love that word. but hell, i'm ignoring what i want, and will do as God directs me to. No Ah Gou, Muthu or Ali for me. Whatever goes for God, goes for me.

yes yes, im all contradicting. here i am, waiting impatiently. and God is up there, tellin me He'll gao dim everything. (God is quite cool you noe, He'll even say "Wassup!" if He wanted to.) but i KNOW in my head, tht i'm bein childish and selfish. its such a simple thing, but its oso quite difficult for me. I WILL PUT MT FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD

there, i said it. Not my will but Yours be done. Amen.

was out at mv jus now wit sze, jo, eu chern and hon lum. i feel so terrible. hon lum treated us to lunch/dinner at 5pm. japanese. and it cost rm242.65. im feelin lyk an a**hole. i jus bloody raped the guy!! for a meal!! and he was so so so nice abt it.

some ppl might say, oh if he said its alright, then too bad for him la. but i feel lyk i failed in bein a good Christian. miserably. i jus gave God a bad name. Jesus is so not lyk tht. and i hate myself for it. but i shudn be so sensitive you say? ah.. its jus my conscience then. i've aredi offered to pay him back, but he denied my request. sigh... i'll nvr do somethin lyk tht again. jeez.. not worth a guilt trip. but then again, its jus me alright?

on another note, actually the day has been reli fun. met up wit eu chern and wel, i think he looks nice wit semi bald hair. more..guy-ish. oh jo! she reli could look good if she dresses up. but she refuses!! haha... i wish i'd taken her pic in the dressing room. lovely long toned legs. and hon lum looks btr now, wit contacts and all. tho a bit lala. sze, she jus looked damn hot as usual la. and me? the usual middle sex la.

reli, do i strike ppl as a lil lesbian? to clarify things, i reli am not. i totally dig guys, and to tel the truth, i wish i cud jus find a guy that God picks for me. and besides, not to be bias or anythin, but my religion doesn allow it. mayb its the way i dress. or cos i am so loud its impossible to imagine me being feminine(even i cant! haha!) but im truly stil a girl, which i must accept, even though it comes wit a lot of weird(and i mean freakin weird!) hormonal changes. i've always managed to suppress everythin, but now, its gettin out of control. so guys, i'm sorry but the truth is: ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN. even i don get them sometimes. pff toff!

ok, back to today's events. kicked off wit sweeney todd(which made jo late for work). JOHNNY DEPP, TIM BURTON(director) AND HELENA BONHAM CARTER ARE GENIUSES!!! the movie was morbid, but artistic in tht way. its a musical so naturally the soundtrack is great. dark and gory, the whole movie damn syok! johnny, tim and helena have worked a lot together, and always their movies, are the unexpected kind.
johnny is so good until i reli hope, tht in real life, he isn't as demented as he is in the movie. he reli brought out the anger and frustration tht a wronged person wud feel. and the darkness of his eyes..scary. this movie is definitely not for ppl who cannot stand blood. bits of it are pretty disgusting, cos its quite cruel the way the ppl get killed. helena bonham carter's character, is a light hearted version, but quite on the verge of insanity too i think. she plays gothic characters very well. the other actors, i won elaborate much. Judge Turpin(?) played by Prof. Snape, suits the role very well. so does the beadle(Wormwood of HarryPotter?). Sacha Baron Cohen(Borat) does accents fabulously and definitely can act. the Anthony guy, pretty boy, but cannot act to save his life. the girl oso. hardly remember her name..
So thats my take on SWEENEY TODD: DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET

February 3

TRANSFORMERS:
ok i'm so out date but i reli reli reli lyk this movie. and it doesn help tht i watched it after my first drivin lesson. Bumblebee!!! i loved the chase scene of Bumblebee and the police car. i kinda understand why guys love cars now. its the speed. and how a machine can be "alive". i think the director did a good job in makin a movie tht appealed to both guys and gals. prob thts why it was so popular. guys wil love Mikaela and the cars, and the girls(lyk me) learn how to appreciate cars btr. the only complaint i have is tht they dragged the plot out too long.

driving lesson: had my first lesson yest. and it was so syok!! although i drove only in gear 1, i managed not to stall the car tho its my first time on manual. *grins* i felt reli good after tht cos my partner, she stalled her car for 7 times when she first learnt from her dad. but i also felt manly.. hehe.. i didn drive above 20, but not cos i didn want to!! the instructor wudn let me.. it was rainin and i wanted to drive faster. the fella keep sayin "slow down! slow down!" argh! sexism i bet... so yes, i felt good abt driving. still do!