yea. thts the reason i havn been bloggin. but im actually not supposed to blog rite now cos i have to input books into the new online library system. but thre are ppl on msn and such too so i gues i can have a breather. its freezing! my hands are numb.

u noe yest i went thru a self discovery session. induced by sunny tellin me not to take tuition tht i don need. eg. bio and chem. ltr i'll elaborate. seems lyk i recover pretty fast from my resolutions. i mean, im supposed to improve myself and all cos i said i wud, and well, i havn made any visible progress today. but then again its only been a day. one of the things i said i wud do is to be hardworkin. another is to mean wht i say and do it. the nxt is to be humble. cos im so bloody stubborn and arrogant. well thts wat my mum says. i admit it. so i gues lyk sher says, have to keep improving ourselves day by day.

ok not to elaborate on sunny and tuition and the connection btween these two. well i want to take chem and bio tuition at my tuition centre so i told him im taking it la, being the dutiful girlfriend i am. then he asked me why i wanna take, i don need it wat? if i study by myself, i don need to waste time taking tuition. so we got to arguing cos i know i'm lazy and if i don take tuition, i usually won study by myself. he doesn't want me to be dependant on tuition. then he said, if i take tuition i shud study by myself too, so tht i'm not dependant la. then i argued and said tht if im hardworkin i wudn take in the first place. i dunno la... its reli very messy and a big mess up of me la.

but tht conversation led me to go rethink abt my point of life and wht i wanna do wit my life. cos he made a point in sayin tht i shud start trainin myself to be hardworkin now. so tht nxt time wen i work it'll be easier for me to push myself. and talks wit my parents and the newspaper articles all lead me to believe if i want a future, i have to start studying now. and be independant too. its not easy la, to switch ur personality from total lazy bum to hardworkin and studious. i guess i have to keep improving myself. and relations wit ppl too.

the prob wit me is i always have these big dreams and goals but i nvr try to achieve them myself, jus wait for the opportunity to fall into my lap. so yea, u have to create opportunities. not wait for them. i gues i have to go now. after those wise words and musings. haha... kidding. i'm no smarter than anyone. time to input.... argh..... whole morning only input books. the life of a librarian...

hey but who cares rite? after all its MY blog. i'm not well versed in html so i can't add music and stuff tho i'd reli love to. PS atthiya! ur blog is so gorgeous! i need more pics on mine. definitely. *inspired look*

well i had my first video call... on skype. wit sunny. haha i noe thts not much to blog abt but i'm bored and i don feel lyk sleeping. so here i am, typing nonsense bcos i dunno wht else to type. skyping is fun! wit the right ppl of cos. i mean by right ppl frens la!

boyi miss the girls. reli a lot. ages and ages it seems. and chin mei. poor chin mei. got a sudden call from her today. called me by accident. havn talked to her for a long long time. see, here it comes again. the bad-at-keeping-friends disease. we jus kinda lost touch i gues. me and my own crew, she got her frens. i dunno. we're stil frens yea, but no longer best frens tho i know it shudn be tht way. i mean, for old times sake she's stil a fren but i can hardly tok to her anymore. its lyk strangers who once knew each other. yea. and i don wish i was stil her best fren. i want to move on. i'm sorry ah liao. sigh... why am i such a horrid selfish unfeeling person? i don do this on a daily basis but... i cant blame anyone. i mean, wht kind of fren jus goes and dumps u for another gang. tht ain't a fren.

in stories, u oways get the point of view from the person being dumped. the victim. well its time to show u wht its lyk to be the selfish fren. me. see, i don reli wanna dump ah liao. i wudn even call it dumping in the first place. i wud call it drifting apart wit no attempt to salvage any remaining pieces of friendship. alright, we stil meet each other in skul u noe and the lyk. like, askin each other if we wud lyk to go out for movies or a trip, but it oways ends up as a no. mainly cos since we're in diff classes, and practically two diff worlds. for example i asked her to come to the murder mystery party, she declined. the main reason being tht she doesn't click wit the ppl goin thre. and face it, its not lyk she doesn't lyk the ppl i hang wit, or i hate her gang, but its more of a language cum social barrier. yea so, i guess u can say its my fault. so i'm a horrible person yes i noe. but everyone has their faults. forgive me.

enough. time to watch justin in my love. gosh i love tht song and video!! best dancing EVER!

forgot abt this very important aspect of my form 4 yr. YE is a program i joined in skul which teaches kids lyk me to set up their own company and make profit from it. and my skul has to compete wit other skuls for the best enterprise, best annual report, best product and best use of ICT. so get this. we, evince enterprise, got the first for: best enterprise, best annual report and best ICT!!!! and we got third for best product. hey! this is amazing ok? and we got belanja-ded by citigroup for a 50 bucks lunch ok? three course meal!! and i love the restaurant decor. sleek and classy. so you guys envious. sorry, ain't my fault we're so geng. haha. reli sorrry.

and abt the murder mystery party i was talking abt? bot it was such a blast! i mean, tho it was a bit complicated and we had a lot of hiccups, most ppl enjoyed it. and the food was good!! thts wat everyone said! lol. i was in charge of the food if u didn noe. and i didn strictly follow the recipes either. so u guess its an amazing feat is it not? by mua... haha.

oh k.. its time to go check out blog skins and update my profile. bye ppl.

who says i can't use the beginning of a post for my title?! btw, daniel i hope you're reading this cos you have to uphold chinese tradition for returning the favour. oh whatever. today is a new day and a new beginning. well, friday, nov 17 2006 only happens once in forever right? what i mean is this day is here only for one day. if you get what i mean, you're smart. anyway, ps i'm gonna crap. hols hols hols. ARE BORING!!! i nvr tot i wud say tht, not wit everything and anything but i jus did say tht so do i look lyk i care? fav phrase now. picked it up from the annoying bro. do i look lyk i care?

i had a terrible day yesterday and the day before. either its pms or some unknown holiday disease i have no idea abt. but anyway, i tend to say a lot of anyways. guess its wat ppl say wen they are thinkin of wat to say nxt.

yest i wrote in the fab 6 diary. it was soothing. i guess anything to do wit writing can give me some peace of mind. i havn written for ages cept this blog here and tht diary la. havn been doin much reading either. well compared to the voracious appetite i had in form 1 and 2. books all the time i tell u. recess oso takin books to read, walkin around the skul corridors oso got books in hand. but i do wonder whre tht bookworm has gone? together wit the spirit of excellence and my results. i mean i do miss the girl i once was and sometimes i wish i cud have her back again. u can call me a dreamer tho i believe i'm pretty grounded in reality. but perhaps too much will pull u into the materialistic, egotistical world of today. i sound lyk i'm writing an essay, not my life.

mayb i shud post my essays for my skul english exam here. i'm reli proud of them. works of art. tho some wonder how i write so much in such a short period of time. i dunno myself. i lyk writing. i didn even find my stories long. tot they were jus normal.

did i tell u of my goals for this hols? right take a look(tho i'm wondering if any of you will be interested in my life, i'm gonna post them out anyway):
1) don't disappoint other ppl.
2) do what i say. and mean it.
3) study. i must get the marks i used to have.
4) look to God
5) work out, tone up. the party is inspiration. so is prom.
6) get back spirit of excellence
7) shut up when my parents are scolding me
8) clean my pig sty
9) get a Christmas present for sunny
10) get out the Cambodia presents and get one for the gift exchange.

there. 10 fantastic goals i must do. MUST. because thts what sunny told me to do. if i can write them out, i must be able to do them. cannot disappoint other ppl anymore. and keep my word.

so shud i end this post? or do i leave you all hanging...

well this a short one. jus to say and record tht i've been scolded a total of 4 times by my mum. first for not making my timetable and tht lead to havin deteriorated in my results. second for not telling the tution teacher tht i was suppose to start on 4 subs and not 2. third for not tellin her the printer was spoilt. and i end up havin to pay 300 to fix it. i hope she's kidding. fourth, for not goin out to exercise wit my bro. i jus worked out at home. well no time to elaborate.

but since my goals for this hols is to change and be a btr person, i didn scream back at her or pull off another shouting fit lyk i did to my dad. well, thts all for now. on the bright side, i MAY be goin out wit fab 6. PS. fan 4 has added another two ppl, sunny and hui yee. so we're fab 6.

gotta go. bye

yea look at the title. results drop lyk crap. turns out my moral is 40 not 36. but anyway, the party was great! a success. but make me so worn out and tired la. and sze's dress only 19 bucks! crazy! and i tot mine was so cheap. oh well.

i'm feelin a bit depressed lately. lyk i tink i need to rethink and rearrange my life. figure out who i am, and what i've become. wit a bf and all, i tink i'm seriously lead astray from the real life. i mean, i used to be disgusted by skimpily clad girls. now i'm jus ok wit it. i even call it sexy for goodness sake! geeez.. hols. must buck up. everybody is studying!

i have tuition at 2 today. i reli dunno wat to do wit my life la. supposed to do a timetable and clean my room. its stil a pig sty since the last post. and Sze isn too happy wit this yr either. i dunno la.... lunch time.