did i ever mention tht i'm gonna let God pick my guy? no?
well, its lyk this. since God's the only one who knows me inside out, i suppose He'd know btr which guy to pick right? yup, i'm not gonna make the same mistake twice. i'm no desperado here.. jus wanna place the decision in God's hands. who knows, mayb in the end, he won be lyk how i thought he wud be.

its kinda funny tho, when ur friends are reli attractive and have love interests, you wonder(or at least i do), when's it gonna be my turn? and i always feel tht no guys will ever be interested in me. and i know exactly why. LOUD, obnoxious, boyish, unladylike. even the way i walk reeks of manliness. such a turn off! gah! i've always been lyk this. and i don think i will ever be graceful, sweet, soft and feminine.
let me tell you, i hated shoppin as a kid. not dislike, HATE. and i had a fondness for creepin ppl out. jus to show tht i was brave. it jus proves tht ugly ducklings, sometimes jus ARE ugly lyk shit. and it doesn help when you think some guys will suit you when actually you really dont know.
but now, i see why girls are lyk tht. cos we're created after God's own image. ah peer pressure.. how we all love that word. but hell, i'm ignoring what i want, and will do as God directs me to. No Ah Gou, Muthu or Ali for me. Whatever goes for God, goes for me.

yes yes, im all contradicting. here i am, waiting impatiently. and God is up there, tellin me He'll gao dim everything. (God is quite cool you noe, He'll even say "Wassup!" if He wanted to.) but i KNOW in my head, tht i'm bein childish and selfish. its such a simple thing, but its oso quite difficult for me. I WILL PUT MT FAITH AND TRUST IN THE LORD

there, i said it. Not my will but Yours be done. Amen.