BUT I'll jus mini update u guys la
Few days before, made acar, which is pickled vege la.. Whats so imp abt tht? Its my grandma's recipe from her grandma's grandma's aunt's sister, all the way from Java.....and so on and so forth.. (it tasted AWESOME btw).. Anyway, I like doing things with my Mama. Call me old-fashioned or something, but really, I kinda treasure the times we have. Maybe its to make up for the short time i had with Yeh Yeh(grandad). Okk, I'm weird yes I know, but old fogies have fantastic stories to tell. Reallly! Scandals, love stories, swindlers.. Its like a bloody soap opera!!

oops, I did say mini update right?

ok, christmas, raped a chicken according to Jamie Oliver's recipe. The stuffing was nicer than the bird itself but oh well..Dinner with family, quiet kinda.. I don have any paternal cousins see..
Went to church..normal christmas do.. Shereen was dancing, met Cait and Ruth..

Boxing Day, missed Shereen's birthday party.. Gah.. I'm sorry Shereen.. Cleaned apartment, exhausted but nice din at Nong and Jimmy's. Really really nice authentic Thai food, but all the way in Ampang, so mostly inaccessible..

Been at the library a lot, to study and catch up A2. Failing horribly. Gah...Tomorrow. Promise.
Read so many books! Heaven! And you guys seriously, read The Shack. Awe inspiring and provocative. Havn't read such a good book for a long long time.. Not since, Thousand Splendid Suns. Watched Capote, great movie. And Dark Knight. Awesome too.. Want to get Breakfast at Tiffany's, both movie and book.

Will be heading to Chiang Mai on New Year's Day, so before I forget-eth,
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!
K, my responsibility is done. On to message for myself.

After reading The Shack (told you it was inspiring), my eyes have like, opened. I've totally been going around with eyes wide shut. Worrying about my future and such. AND I've learnt not to "put God first". Really, it should be, "Put God in the CENTER" . I must edit my resolutions. And thats all I really wanted to tell myself.

yes, a thought. no wait, many thoughts strike me about her.
how we used to be so close, lyk sisters almost.
i have a theory. if you meet a person at least 3 times, in unrelated events, just by chance and coincidence, their life is somehow very intertwined with yours.
we go a long way back. remember at the sleepover, in that tiny bed, you me and another girl(i forget who), when i crushed you in my sleep? you were tiny back then. me clumsy as usual.
apparently for you, we went even further back than std 6. i dunno when, but i took your glue away while you were using it. and i was mean about it. i don remember that at all. in fact, i didn even think i was mean when i was young. but you told me i was. i believed you. still do.

thats just incident no.1

we were in the same ballet school. and eventually same ballet class. you didn like ms mak, thats all i remember. and sandra wasn yr fav friend either. perhaps in ballet i was only yr acquaintance. prob cos i was a lot in awe of you. you were always good at dancing. learnt faster, technique btr than everyone else. but i always enjoyed talking to you. i knew we clicked. but after i quit ballet, i just didn want to think of it anymore. it brought painful reminders of how my body image was altered.

thats event no.2

horror of horrors, we ended up in the same class in form 1!! i know i had chin mei at the time. but you were one of my close friends too. but i guess i didn reli click with norah, but you did. i know that you and i kept stayin near the top of class. you were 2,1,2 and i was1,2,1. I think.
and the coincidence continued, rigth until form3. same class all the way. i guess in form 2 there was some friction btwn chin mei, you and i. i thought of you as one of my best buds, but chin mei and i were a couple for so long that i was kinda afraid to dump her. i wanted a threesome(not that kind!), but i guess tht didn reli work out. but we were still good. and form 3, was the most awesomest time... so much fun we had, until teacher had to split us up for being too noisy. fantastic 4 and pangkor were lyk my best memories of us.

thats coincidence no.3

ther've been only 2 significant friends who have had 3 uncoordinated events linked to me. 2. yr a rare gift, girl. i guess we drifted cos of distance, and my lack of effort to keep touch. i thought thats how friendships were. impermanent things. ships that would sail after a time. but now i guess i know btr. you've got to moor friendship. keep it anchored to yr dock.

i somehow feel our link is stil thre. though i see you in college, i barely know what is happening to you. i was one of the last to know your desires, your decisions. though i try to read yr blog, you are still secretive with some issues. but i put it down to moving on with life. you go your way, i go with mine. after all, i hold no claim on you. now that i'm moving to hartamas, i think i have the courage.

to apologize.
for 3 yrs of neglect and a yr of suspicion. doesn matter if you don know anything. i don even ask for yr forgiveness. i just needed to say it. i've been planning to write you a birthday letter. but my gut keeps squirming. its the lack of courage. i'll do it, don worry. when i asked my current friends what to do when i kept thinkin of you, they said don give up. so i wont.
truth be told, i wanted to talk to you on graduation last yr. but courage failed me again. thre are many things i would be brave about, but when it comes to you, words fail me.

lol. do i sound like a love struck puppy? how's angel btw? i know you always take care of her. and don worry about calories, you look great. hope you get btr soon, from the stuff that bothers you.

yes its been a long sabbatical.. too long maybe. have lost touch with most of the world. which might cause my downfall.

what i've been up to recently:
1) finish AS finals!
2) Mahathir's talk at putrajaya (i'm the ONLY person wearing jeans and T SHIRT!! and i was trying to do a piece for ed board.. so wanted to slaughter me mum on the spot, she made me wear a t-shirt..)
3) Mamma Mia musical! lovely! fantastic music and hot guys.. 6 packs..yes sue me for being lucky!
4) much hanging out at MV. (detrimental to plans for studying)
5) Eu's b'day!! at italiannies @ MV (again..)
6) new phone and ipood
7) comp reformatted, lost my song collection. (I HATE microsoft, but not Bill Gates)
8) checking aura's blog, XP (he went for mahathir's talk too!!! coincidence much?)
9) made acar!! learnt an old recipe from my grandma who learnt it from her ma, who learnt it from her ma.. and went to wet stinky market to get the ingredients. taste wunnerful!
10) my JB grandma's 80th b'day!! *in mandarin* "wan sui, wan sui, wan wan sui!"

i've actually got PLENTY stuff to say. but look at the time of the post and you'll see how late/early it is. and my biological clock is waaaay off. i'm waking up around lyk wat, 12pm and sleeping at 4am?

oh ya, lil update for the future:
1) moving to taylors sri hartamas campus nxt yr. missin all pe6-ers aredi! but will be seeing john kwan, ming guan and kelvin i hope.
2) chiang mai trip on jan 1. weird timing yes.
3) am supposed to club wit eu for new yrs eve. wonder if thats gonna happen..
4) lose weight. i am determined, i will not be a hippo for 2009. NEVER!!
5) go to PJ library to study until christmas. must must and triple must!

i'm losing touch with God. hols are not good for me. i wanna live Jesus again. must read the Bible.
and since christmas is near, just wanna thank God for the whole blessed yr. my family's survived the trickle of income. God took good care of us, and we have not been in any want. in fact He has blessed us with more than we can ever want. i've grown so much for the yr, also have experienced so many failures that i hope will push me and will get my fat ass off the couch. reli, i know so much more, socially, intellectually, spiritually and scarily.