Kinda belated wish but, its the thought tht counts no?

Started the new year in Portsmouth with the M'sian gang.. But to me, it was like quite passe. New Year...again...Only now am I starting to feel like "Woohoo! 2010 is here!"

It snowed lots yesterday evening! Coming back at 6pm, thre were people outside my block having a snow fight..My neighbour invited me to join one at 12am, but I was busy prepping for today1s Contract tutorial, had to decline.

I've started a new lifestyle. 5 meals a day, exercise everyday except Mon and Sat. Cannot waste the SportRec. And I really wanna decrease my body fat. Fat, yuck!

OK, now for a lil motivation speech for myself:
What I really wanted to say is, I really have to stop "playing" already. As in, really need to work harder, and step up my game. No more slacking, no more procrastinating, just really go for it. Before this, I was thinking, "I've always been a good girl, now a little bit slack nvm la.." But that is such loser attitude. I wanna get back to whre I was in Form 5. That was the best I was at getting things done, juggling and managing my time. May not have been as good as many other people, but that was the best I have been so far.

I really must grow up a lil bit more. Take life seriously again. For the past month or so, I prob was a bit disillusioned. Like, not really sure who I want to be, what I want to do, in uni and in life. I didn't really want to work hard, just wanted to do "enough". Or like in college, just doggedly chasing results and grades, looking for things to put on my CV, basically trying to be a "model student", so that the unis and scholarships would accept me. I have probably tried the extremes of just slacking and doing whatever I like, and the hurried pursuit of the superficial whilst ignoring my heart's desires.

But I'm getting back on track now. I may still not be sure where I want to go, but at least I must try being the best I can at what I'm doing now. There's still a lil part of me that doesn't want to move out of my comfort zone. I still don't want to work hard for everything. But I'm gonna do it now. I'm gonna start taking more opportunities. Thats the way to live life. Not just "getting by", but actually living it. I'll have my cake and eat it! Work hard, and play hard. I'll need loads of help, encouragement and motivation. Heck, I probably need a little kicking in the ass! But I know I have God. I have family. I have good friends.

Like Stacie Orrico said, "There's gotta be more to life." A lot more I believe. And its there for the taking. I just need to take that first step of faith. Pray for me, I'll prob pray for myself too. Pray I'll take that first step out of my box, and the next, and the next. And keep pushing on. It maybe a lil bit of a selfish prayer, but I believe God wants more out of me. I really can give Him more glory than what I'm doing now. It really is time for me to grow up. I'm 20 this year. The foundations of who I am in my adult life are gonna be laid down for the next few years. I don't wanna drift, and end up dependant on someone else; neither do I want to join the rat race, going after what I "ought" to be doing. I really wonder whats the compromise between these two, as in terms of profession. Currently I know I like reading law. I just don't know if I want to be practicing it. I guess that knowledge can only come when I try an internship, or start working. Which would be next year (gasp!)

There's lots of work to be done. Nicole's first life-changing experience, is about to begin.