XP *big sheepish grin*

hehe..havn't been updating as much as I should..And I don need an excuse!! XP So a few updates:

a) passed exams and mooting

b) joined mooting competition, made it to 2^nd round now, woot!

c) started watchin GG..season 2 (yes FINALLY...)

d) still bored, but now I have someone occupying my mind...XP

e) No I will not be telling you who that someone is until you ask me personally and privately

g) mooting is killing me...have forgotten how to juggle everything but I will get back on track

h) long time havn go crazy...no one here to crazy with...=(

i) had craving for nasi lemak jus now...=( or any other asian/malaysian food..but all the shops were closed...=(

j) MUST PRIORITISE!!!

So yes...You can see whats on my mind does not exactly belong there. But I can and will prioritise. Reality will sink in soon. Easter hols are in a wks time!!! Will relax on wkends, then get to actually studying for everything properly. This exam is as important as SPM or A Levels. Simply must do well.

Mooting is killing me..I’m so tired..Mentally..My brain is very numb. And he’s not helping..Grr...concentrate concentrate...oh maybe sleep will help..hehe..just taking Mum’s advice

I was thinking, I do need to try harder though. I took quite a few personality tests. And I am a confirmed introvert. Which...although is relaxing, is not exactly good in terms of working life. And in my line, lawyers are people who have too much things to say, not too little. And I’ve realized I’m not a person who makes things happen. I wait for things to happen. Which again..is not exactly beneficial(?)

Being away from home has made me think a lot. About myself mostly, which is quite selfish I know. And change, as much as I said I would welcome it, has not exactly been easy. I thought I was a lot of things, but now I realised I’m not. Sobering revelation? Yes. Do I intend to change though? The answer to that still requires some thought..

I have been a drifter for most of my life. Things have fallen into my lap, without much effort from me. Maybe as a young kid I did have that spunk, that determination and tenacity to become the person I wasn’t but wanted to be. (I wonder how many 5 yr old kids trained themselves not to cry, not to be scared of insects or not to be ticklish) But now, I’ve kinda lost it. Or misplaced it. Either way, I can’t find it. But it needs to be found, one way or another. Because I need it now. I know, that who I am now, is who I will probably be for the next 10-15 years of my life. So these are the final few stages of the moulding of my basic character. I have to decide, who I want to be, how or whether I’m going to get there, and to actually start getting down to business. If I don’t know who I am, how can I expect others to know me? Maybe this is the teenage angst period that I never really had. I need to develop an identity, a personality which I’m happy with. Ooh...Maybe I don’t, but I’m just unhappy about who I am now?

~in deep contemplation