OK now time to complain.

Its a relief being able to finish packing 90% of the stuff. I'm so proud of myself, even packed up my clothes to bring home aredi. This is independant living man.. Come to think of it, I have grown up quite a bit since coming here. Really take care of myself etc. And its like last time all I had to think about was study hard and take care of my friends. Now have to clean, cook, do laundry, make friends..Walao..Friggin old la! But I think I can do better. Like slimming downand my health for example. I noticed once I'm busy, I don't think about food that much. Like today, had breakfast, then by the time we moved, already 4pm already. Cook and eat is like around 6pm. No need dinner la!

I have plans for next year. Cannot play already, must be serious and work my ass off. And balance God, family, my health and friends. 2nd year counts, and if I want my Dean's list, b loody hell better work hard. 9-5 non-stop. More efficient that way. Its like in sec school, busy from morning till late afternoon. School, tuition, friends, homework, co-curricular.. Walao, I admire my stamina. I have a feeling its because I'm no longer on a schedule that my efficiency drop. And results likewise. Gotta start thinking about CV, internships, working life etc. No more scholarship scholarship. Time to face the real world and prepare for it. Development in life yo.. Come to think of it, I never really planned for after uni. Not seriously anyway. I had a hazy presumption of going into Law, but that was about it. Now I really have to go figure, or rather set a real goal of getting somewhere. But the thing is I don't just want to join the rat race and just work in the office. What happened to all those romantic ideas about travelling the world, doing crazy stuff like sky diving, surfing, rock climbing.. Guess responsibility for your own life means that you need to earn the money first, then only do all these things. And as lawyers, I'll be working really long hours and I doubt that I'll have enough time to do all these things. Especially first few years, walao, it will be torture. Am I ready for that? I know I can handle it, but its now more of a question of whether I want to or not. Hell, do I want to spend my life slogging away at a desk to earn just enough $$ for a good life in the future? Or should I just go with a job that pays less, but gives me more time for myself? Its a lot about responsibility, and whether its a life I want to live. I guess I have to ask God about this, cos I'm getting a bit clueless here.

Since young I've been trained to study hard and get good grades. Then what happens next after education? Get a good job, get married, have kids, earn lots of money, grow old and die. Sounds sooooo exciting... But then again, doing those things doesn't necessarily mean I won't be happy. Guess I have to find the little things in life that make me happy. Maybe its my mindset I have to change. Lights, camera, action may be fun, but I guess it'll lose its shine in awhile. So how to choose?? Humdrum, or fast lane??

And I'm not exactly looking forward to losing my innocence and naivety in the working world. Lawyers are not exactly known to be the nicest people on earth. But I suspect I will grow up and change. Its inevitable. Change is certain. And I think if I go with it, and not fight it so hard, it'll be a lot easier. Life was simple, now, I'm not so sure.

Guess I'm not as mature as I thought. Lots of room for improvement. I'm so inexperienced, but I'm determined to grow up and get stronger. Watch out world! I'm coming out..

~keeping the innocence

I'm sorry for not blogging. If you know me, I am a irregular blogger, with bursts and spurts of creativity.

Right, my life for the past 3 months:
1) Finals

2) Finals over

3) Packing

4) London

5) Going home soon! Landing on Malaysian soil on 17th June to be precise

6) Internship in Singapore 21st June - 3rd Sept

Basically my life has been reduced to that. Quite sad actually. Hell I have no idea when I will start living properly, victoriously. Hmm..Now's probably as good a time as any to start.

Soton is nice and peaceful, but it can get quite humdrum with all the studying to do. Day in day out, same old same old. Going on to work is not going to be any much better. So I guess its my attitude that must change. Think brightly. Can you believe I like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Watched it for the first time yesterday. She's pretty inspiring, even more so since she was a law student. But then again it is fiction. I want real hope that my life is not gonna end up boring and mundane. Something's got to give. Praying for God to teach me.

Gotta go. Do laundry. Errands, errands, errands.