Heh. Its been awhile since I posted anything meaningful. Been living life outside of cyberspace yo.. Social life has been taking up alot of time. Hardly spent any time alone with my thoughts since joining St Matts. Loving the life here, but me and my wallet just need a bit of recovery.

The challenge I got last Sun was to start remembering my responsibilities and trust God to help me achieve them. Settling into SG has been a big distraction. Thank God for giving my a wake-up call through friends. If I want to be the woman God intended, I have a lot of growth to do. And surprisingly, I realised I should return to my younger days where I had clear objectives. The need to define myself has slowly faded away. I am comfortable being God's child and letting him determine my path in life. Though I strayed from Him, He has brought me back into His peace. The funny thing is, I tried to find meaning by myself, but in the end He truly is my portion and my purpose is in Him. All the travelling, doing stupid stuff, living like the world says I ought, didn't bring me joy or peace. Reading His word and spending time in church did. Surprise surprise.

So, to get back in the habit of reminding myself of my priorities:
1) Learn more about God. Probably pick up some books and attend cell group
2) Career. I need to be more intentional about my Bar course. Not just assume everything will be smooth-sailing. Also need to decide where to train next.
3) Family. Have not been in close contact with my family. CNY would be a good time to bond.
4) Relationships. Part of the reason behind the challenge. To be a godly wife.
5) Seeking God's will. How can I be an impact on this world? Start serving in St Matts?

Singapore has been kind to me. I've found a good bunch of friends, have an amazing social life. But I've also enjoyed discovering a little more about the city. Its a safe convenient place to live. But will I stay here long? Its a little sterile, a little too perfect. Its a safe harbour, but I wonder whether I can live effectively here. Its too easy to be complacent, to get a little too comfortable. I've learnt a lot here. I'm thankful for what I have. The freedom of living alone, being responsible for only myself has given me confidence. But I'm starting to think that I need just a little bit of a push towards serving others. Towards being an impact on the world. Work is hardly an avenue, at least not in my current workplace. It did feel like I was being employed for nothing, then I realised actually with the time on my hands, I could be doing more towards improving my law. Can't just rely on my boss to teach me, or give me meaningful work. I actually need to go learn by myself, give myself proper work to do. Like I predicted, practice is a lot more fun than studying law. And I do like what I do, reading cases and applying my brain. I'm just a bit afraid that I'm not doing it right. Hmm..

Marriage is like a taboo word among my friends. Just a little over a year ago I could not seriously imagine myself ever getting married. Well, yes I dreamt about how I would like my dream wedding, dream boyfriend etc. But that isn't the actual point. I was not ready to start preparing to be a wife and mother. I've been challenged recently to start thinking seriously about that. Been reading boundless.org by Focus on the Family. Its got some good articles, and I have to admit I've been influenced by them. But I realised I need to also apply the principles in tandem with the fruits of the Spirit, and not merely use the bits and pieces of advice, which I had taken out of context.

Physically, I'm proud of the progress I've made so far. Have lost some weight, toned up with muay thai. Love it! Jogging has helped a little too. Have acquired more discipline with food and exercise. The goal now is to run 10 km non-stop. Am about halfway there. Have started to enjoy the body that God has given, and not worry so much that I will never look like a model. I'm built to be curvy, will never be slim like the typical Asian. Ah well.. Just means that my fashion choices are limited. Which is good cos then I won't spend so much haha.. Been a bit carried away with material things recently. That's another thing about Singapore I don't like. You get the feeling of trying to keep up with the Joneses. Looks here really do matter. So sometimes I just like to dress a little bit out of place, to challenge myself and my confidence.

Right, the brain is starting to turn off. Winding down for the night.