Confidence is not acting like you know what you're doing. It is security in knowing that God has got your back.

This hit me just now, when I was practicing my catwalk  walking to the toilet. Strutting around and showing off your colours helps to bring an air of confidence. But once you're found out, that you can't walk the talk, you're in deep shit. And that's what I've been doing. Pretending that I can do it, when really, I'm not equipped with the skills to do so. And when I fail miserably, both the person I'm doing work for and myself are terribly disappointed and disillusioned, not to mention that it has been a waste of time for them cos I can't deliver like I said I could. The quality isn't there. So I have to learn to better my skills. And gain confidence not from my skill set, but from the knowledge that mistakes will be made, and that God is by my side helping me to deal with it. The disappointment when I fail is inevitable, but the right attitude would be to take that failure and turn it into something good.

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Well then, back to work so that I can deliver like I said I would!